Penetrating insights

I’ve been pondering this subject for a while (mostly pondering how to state my case with the maximum of clarity and the minimum of basic Anglo-Saxon). Let’s see how near I’ve got …

In (nearly?) all sexual encounters between men and women, it’s the man who does the penetrating: even in kissing, the man is more likely to penetrate the woman’s mouth than she is his.

So it’s common for women to discover the limit that will initiate their inbuilt gag reflex, and correspondingly rare for men to discover theirs.

Not being penetrated as a general rule, men don’t know what it feels like, and so blithely continue to shove things into places that were never meant to receive such items, especially with such enthusiastic vigour.


So, blokes, here’s an idea: why don’t you try a few things on yourself, to find out what it’s like to be on the receiving end of what you give out?

Step 1: Get a piece of raw liver and cut it to tongue shape and size. Now shove it into your mouth, and then push the tip of it down your throat. Move it about as you move your tongue about in your lover’s mouth.

Step 2: Select the vegetable of your choice and whittle it into the approximate size and shape of your own favourite body-part. (You can over-estimate as much as you like here!)
Now try oral sex with that. How does it feel to you to have something that size pushing into your mouth and down your throat?
We all know the thing about "sticking your fingers down your throat to make you sick". Well, the effect is exactly the same with anything else stuck down your throat.


Step 3: Since quite a few men seem to have a thing about anal sex, the next step is obvious ...


Check out how it feels to you before you do it to other people. You might learn a few things that would make you a better and more considerate lover.

(In the interests of sexual equality, women could take another slice or liver and fold it into a “butterfly” and see how the man feels, too!)